Elul Day 19 - י"ט באלול

Dear Elul Writers,

It is hard to write about brokenness this year. I have no desire to idealize or glorify it, as I may have in the past. The shivrei luchot, the broken tablets, that I have encouraged my students to carry with them, to set in their holiest places, now feel dangerous. The shards might cut. This has been a year of breaking — shattered lives, devastated peoples, fragmented communities, fractured friendships. A symbolic brokenness pales in comparison to the ongoing grief and trauma and heartache. If the calls of the shofar and the process of teshuvah are supposed to lead us through brokenness, what do we do if we’re already there?

There is a teaching attributed to Elimelech of Lizhensk, who, when considering his life and his actions, wondered how he would fare on Rosh Hashanah, a day of judgment and assessment. In the end, he concluded, “my broken heart will stand me in good stead.” This teaching is a balm. It is not a sense of completion that declares our worthiness, but the fact that we are worse for the wear. Our broken hearts testify to the fact that we are alive, that we are not numb, that, despite it all, we seek another year of life and blessing, of peace and wholeness.

Tekiah-Shvarim-Truah-Tekiah 

DAY 19 PROMPT

On Day 19, if you have it in you, I encourage you to look back on your year and find a moment of feeling utterly shattered. Maybe there is a definitive experience that will come to mind or perhaps you will need to search for it. In the moment, did becoming whole again even feel like a possibility? Does it feel possible yet? How might your broken-heartedness stand you in good stead for the days to come?

Shavua tov,

Jordan